You know what I've been catching myself doing lately?  Playing small.  Oh yea.... even after attending a leadership yoga program, spending thousands and thousands of $$'s on yoga trainings, and reading and attending personal development programs,  I STILL catch myself playing small.  It's really really (if you use the f* bomb... insert it here) FRUSTRATING!  It's like, I know what I'm supposed to do... I know how to achieve what I want, I know how to network, I know what it takes to be outside of my comfort zone, I know what it looks like to live big (I even SEE it in my vision), and then when it comes down to it... some tiny little voice in my head talks me into taking the easy road.  The shorter road.  The road that's tree lined, has white picket fences, and has no cracks to trip on.  And, this voice even convinces me that this road will give me the results I want.  Wrong.
     There's a theory in sports that athletes perform better from 1 of 2 ways of coaching.  The first is the coddling method... some people just need a little TLC or inspiration to perform better.  However, the majority need to be pissed off.  That's why you see red-faced, screaming, spewing spit, coaches.  Sure, they're pissed too, but they're more pissed that you're not pissed.  The thing with (good) coaches is that they see possibility in their players, and the most frustrating thing for a coach is when the player falls back into the easy road and not living in that possibility.  They choose the road they know and the road that got them to where they are but no further.  (After all, it's gotten them this far!?)  
     I am personally one of those players that needs to be pissed off to make a change.  Not at anyone else but myself though.  You see, I'm committed to living a bigger life, and when I catch myself not in line with that commitment, I'm pissed.  Again, only at myself...  I know what I'm up to and I know what the cost is if I'm not in line with that commitment.  There are so many people that have taken a stand for me in my journey (coaches you could say) and had they not shown up in their commitment to me, I'd be sittin behind a desk at any job I could find that would pay the bills.  I'd be unfulfilled (as many of you are) and frustrated at my circumstances.  My "feelings" have been hurt, my ego has been hurt, I've felt bad about myself, and I've blamed others rather than taking responsibility for my being.
      One thing I know I'm not interested in anymore is coddling myself.  I'm done feeling bad because someone offended me.  I'm not interested in "taking it easy" on myself as a fix for my hurt feelings.  I'm not interested in living on the inside, analyzing how I feel, why I feel, or if I did something right or wrong.  When I'm in line with my commitment, I don't have room for these things. I'm interested in taking on responsibility for all of them, but I'm not interested in fixing or covering them up or trying to figure it out.  That's wasted time when I could be up to so much more.    
     Somewhere along the line I decided to step in and be my own coach.  Wow, what a transformation right there. I had to take a stand for myself and stop relying on others to notice and call me out on where I'm not living big.  Where I'm not living into my possibility.  I had to stop relying on personal development books for personal development and trust that all that I need is inside me.  I don't know where this journey is going to lead me exactly.  All I know is that I have choices to make along the way, and those choices involve the easy road or the one that's more challenging, but so much more fulfilling.  The "playing small" road, or the "living big" road.  My commitment is living big, so I know which road I'll be taking.  I know which road I want to take and I know it's the only road for me, if I want to live out my commitment to living big and being fulfilled. How about you?
Much love to you all.... you can do it! 

Justina

Comment

Ignite Yoga- Dayton, Ohio