What Game Are You Winning?
I've been winning the game of busy.... again. I'm so good at this game and I love to win. I'm slightly competitive, as are many of you.
What do I mean that I'm winning the game of busy? Imagine something that you really want to happen. It may be more time with family, a clean home, financial gains, or less work more freedom. Whatever it is, there's something that each of us wants. When we become attuned to self-awareness, we often refer to our inability to get these things as "self-sabotage." We are doing something else that prevents us from getting what we really want. For example, let's say you want a clean home. Self-sabotage may look like wasting time on Facebook instead of cleaning. OR, even better, you may find things haphazardly occur, such as, a spill on the counter, the dog having an accident (which he NEVER has!), or something in your calendar shows up at the exact time you are supposed to clean. Something occurs, whether it seems intentional or not, that prevents you from having a clean home. Some call this again, "self-sabotage." I call it, winning your game.
Now I know this is difficult to wrap your head around... but stick with me here. Imagine, just for a moment, that you are playing a game... with yourself (heads out of the gutter). Think of something that you are really good at that actually creates more stress for you. It might be procrastination, distraction, lack of direction, being "busy," overwhelm, being a victim, or stuck in a particular job or circumstance. For me, it's being busy. Somehow, some way, I've connected being busy with my value or worth. So I've become really really good at doing things, or doing nothing but perceiving it as doing something. And granted, I do get quite a bit done. However, many of things I do are not contributing to my bigger picture or direction. Why? Because if they were, then I'd be winning a different game and I'd be losing my game of busyness. And if I lose, I'm not valuable. And I don't like to lose, or feel not valued. (I know, it does not make sense, but for reeeaaal, this is how we think). So, all of a sudden, little things show up on my to-do list, my priority then shifts, and I win my game.... again.
This isn't a magic formula or deep clearing work. It's a simple shift of your relationship to self-sabotage and what it is that you want. It's also an understanding that whatever game you are winning, there's something else being fed underneath the surface that continues to drive you to win this game. So ask yourself, "What is it? What drives me to win my game?" And then, powerfully ask yourself, "What game would I like to be playing instead?" Then go get 'em.